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Established May 1992
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30 years in business
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5 horrible SQL jokes and one puzzle
Sam has a terrible sense of humour which is all too often inflicted on his delegates. Sadly, with this blog, on website viewers too ...

Posted by Sam Lowrie on 22 July 2020

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5 terrible SQL jokes from Sam (plus a picture puzzle)

As my delegates can attest, there is nothing I enjoy more than a good bad joke. Here are 5 of my absolute favourites which you will likely hear if you attend one of my SQL courses.

Actually, my all-time favourite SQL joke is this one about "little Bobby Tables", but I think Andy's blogged about this one previously.

1) Better than X-Factor?

What do you call the SQL talent show?  Select a *!

Select a star SQL Jokes

 The picture shows the front cover of a zine called Become a Select Star by Julia Evans.

2) Would you watch either movie?

If Access is the original ...

SQL Jokes

... is this the sequel?

3) Just the word Spoonerism is funny

What is the difference between a cat and a select statement?

SQL funny Wise Owl

And optionally a semi-colon too.

4) Dropping the knowledge

How do we know that databases are really clumsy?

SQL Funny Wise Owl

They are constantly dropping things ... like the Mic, the Beat, the News and your ex....

5) Who said weddings are a transactional thing?

Two SQL transactions ask the minister to marry them.  "Only if you're willing to commit", replies the minister.

SQL Funny Wise Owl

 Who knew that even SQL statements could form a UNION?

How bad can my graphics get?  A final puzzle

Which course that Wise Owl offer is this?

SQL Funny Wise Owl

Which Wise Owl course is this?

If any of these jokes didn't make sense consider attending our introductory classroom (Manchester, London or onsite) or online courses to brush up your SQL.

Got any good SQL or other nerdy jokes not listed above?  We'd love to hear from you!

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